urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying It's A Fucking Deathwish I'm Pretty When You Cry 2004-07-03T01:03:16Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:41095 2004-07-03T00:33:12Z 2004-07-03T01:03:16Z I got a new LJ name.<br /><span class='ljuser ljuser-name_makeubeautiful' lj:user='makeubeautiful' style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='http://makeubeautiful.livejournal.com/profile'><img src='http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='http://makeubeautiful.livejournal.com/'><b>makeubeautiful</b></a></span><br /><br />leave me one or Add me if you want to be a friend on my new journal urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:40809 2004-07-02T20:54:29Z 2004-07-02T20:54:29Z *sigh*<br /><br />why do i like adam so much?<br />he's a complete asshole. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:40575 2004-07-02T01:38:53Z 2004-07-02T01:38:53Z What's life like bleeding on the floor?<br /><br />i need more friends :( urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:40244 2004-06-30T18:45:57Z 2004-06-30T18:45:57Z I got my hair cut.<br />Tell me what you think.<br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a> <br /><br /><img src="http://img22.photobucket.com/albums/v67/kissordietrying/hairss.jpg"> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:39985 2004-06-30T15:07:53Z 2004-06-30T15:07:53Z So I am the biggest overreacter in the world.<br /><br />Yesterday at work Adam came up and was talking to me.. then towards the end of the night he came back up to me and we talked for a little bit. He was going to call me when he got off work and we were going to go to waffle house or something for a little bit even tho he had to be back to work at 8 the next morning. So he got off before me and waited in the parking lot until I got off at like 12:15. He drove me all the way to my car because he's cool like that. For like 45 minutes we just sat in my car and listened to a bunch of our cds and goofed around. Even tho adam is super skinny without any fat he can still kick my ass at arm wrestling AND mercy. I think he likes to hurt me.. he also likes to call me a dirty cunt. Then he wanted to smoke because he smoke like 5 packs a day so we just stood outside and talked. He's really cool. We were talking about whats going on with us. He finally admitted that he likes me and he has fun with he's with me. He also said we need to hang out by ourselves soon since the past two times have been with his friends as well. Well anyways it turns out Adam has been giving me little tests since we started going out.. to see if we would work out. First he did the friend test to see if his friends like me, which i passed because they love me. Then he tested my personality and my sense of humor.. to see if I could handle his mean sense of humor. I passed. Finally he tested my kisisng... not so much to see if I was a good kisser.. but to see if it felt right. At first he wouldn't tell me how I did but finally he was like "yeah it felt right." SO i guess thats a good thing. I don't mind him testing me that much because I've been testing him a lot too. I still don't really know what I'm going to do if he actually asks me out.. but oh well.<br />I like him urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:39702 2004-06-29T13:48:38Z 2004-06-29T13:48:38Z Jesus Christ.<br />I am really depressed.<br />I don't think I have ever been this lonely in my entire life.<br /><br />People suck. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:39622 2004-06-28T18:05:08Z 2004-06-28T18:05:08Z I just got my ACT scores.<br />I got what I was hoping to get.. a 32.<br /><br />fuck yeah.<br />University of Southern California here I come. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:39246 2004-06-28T00:21:41Z 2004-06-28T00:21:41Z I just read every entry I've ever made here. God I was pathetic. To make everything final.. I did not love Stu, never did. I only thought I did. Yeah I had sex with Stu, yeah I liked it, but that doesn't mean I loved him. I only thought I did because I liked hanging out with him.. and more so.. I liked fooling around with him. Thats not love. Thats SEX. Contrary to popular belief you don't have to be in love with someone to fuck them.<br />Fuck buddies would be the best invention ever if no one ever thought they were in love. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:38974 2004-06-27T23:57:17Z 2004-06-27T23:57:17Z <b>I talk to much to myself and I turn my back on my faith.</b><br /><br /><br />I took this from some random journal.<br /><br />Step 1: Open your Winamp or other lesser MP3 player.<br />Step 2: Put all of your music on random.<br />Step 3: Write down the first ten songs it plays, no matter how embarrassing<br /><br />1. The Happiest Place on Earth-Desaparecidos<br />2. Love In Autumn-Eighteen Visions<br />3. In Her Bedroom-Story of the Year<br />4. Konstantine-Something Corporate<br />5. Take Me Out-Franz Ferdinand<br />6. Short Stories with Tragic Endings-From Autumn to Ashes<br />7. The Leaving Song Part 2-AFI<br />8. Cowboys and Angels-George Michael<br />9. Second Heartbeat-Avenged Sevenfold<br />10. Schism-Tool urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:38782 2004-06-24T14:40:32Z 2004-06-24T14:40:32Z I hung out with Adam yesterday after work. He was being an asshole but it was pretty fun. We went to this guy's apartment and just hung around. It was me and then like 7 guys in their twenties.. I felt cool lol. They all played some video game and i just layed around.. i was pretty bored.<br />I really don't know how Adam feels about me. he makes fun of me because he knows how much I want him.. but I think he does that because he wants me just as much. He certainly has gotten better at a LOT of things since the last time we went out.. even tho he's gotten to be more of an asshole. <br />I still am not sure if I would say yes if he asked me out... he will definately corrupt me.<br />I probably won't talk to him until next week so I guess i have time to think. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:38643 2004-06-23T14:21:01Z 2004-06-23T14:21:01Z Yesterday was pretty crazy. I had stayed up the night before on the phone really late so I was really tired when I woke up to go to work. I called in and went shopping and to get my bass fixed instead of going to work. Then I went to the mall with Tabitha so she could get some stuff. We bought stuff from John and then drove around for awhile going to random places like Krogers and Mc Donalds. Tab's mom called and told her if she doesn't goto her tap class then she'll get grounded so I drove her to it at like 945. While we were at the mall Tab had called Adam to see if he had anything we could buy and he said he'd call back. Well after Tab's tap class we went to this guys apartment.. just as we were about to go in Adam called me. I decided I really didn't want to stay at that guys apartment since he hates me so Adam came and got me. We went to his friend's house in Middletown and had fun. The people there were really cool, So is Adam. At like 2 Adam took me back to the guy's apartment to pick up Tabitha and me and Tab went and spent the night at her house.<br /><br />It was a pretty fun night, I like hanging out with Adam.<br /><br />I have to work today 12:30-9 which should suck, but after tommorrow I'm off for 3 days to go whitewater rafting with my dad, brother, Tabitha, and a bunch of my dad's friends. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:38153 2004-06-21T15:03:50Z 2004-06-21T15:03:50Z long distance drunk urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:38035 2004-06-21T00:52:18Z 2004-06-21T00:52:18Z So I havent talked to my first boyfriend Adam since we broke up last May. He works at Kings Island with me and I see him all the time but I never had the courage to say hi to him. Then yesterday I saw him and i was just like "hey didnt I go to prom with you" and adam was like "yeah that was forever ago". and we talked for a bit and later on he gave me his cell number and was like "call me whenever you can". So i texted him today and we texted eachother for awhile. I think he is really surprised by how much I have changed which is good because when i went out with him i was not only fat.. but i was also a loser. so anyways i was like "yeah I think we should hang out sometime because it seems we get along a lot better know then we ever did before" and he was like "yeah I know." so we are hopefully going to hang out which should be really fun. he's so adorable.. i think he's really hot.. just like I have always thought. He also seems really cool. He's a chain smoker druggie and I love it. I told him he could call me if he wants. hopefully we talk again soon. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:37840 2004-06-18T23:47:06Z 2004-06-18T23:47:06Z Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band::My Chemical Romance<br />Are you female or male:: our lady of sorrows<br />Describe yourself::headfirst for halos<br />How do some people feel about you:: It's not a fashion statement, It's a Fucking Death Wish<br />How do you feel about yourself:: I'm Not Okay ( I promise)<br />Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:: Thank you for the venom<br />Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:: ...<br />Describe where you want to be:: Drowning Lessons<br />Describe what you want to be:: I never told you what I do for a living<br />Describe how you live:: Jetset Life Is Going to Kill you<br />Describe how you love:: Demolition Lovers<br />Share a few words of wisdom:: Vampires Will never hurt you<br /><br /><br /><br />Yeah I definately drove 5 hours yesterday to see them in concert.<br /><br />it was the best concert I've ever been to. I passed out 3 times and I'm covered in bruises.<br /><br />I was in such a bad mood both days. I think I made all my friends hate me. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:37518 2004-06-15T15:58:01Z 2004-06-15T15:58:01Z stolen from like 500 different people.<br /><br />nose: kkkiisss0rrrdddiiietrryyi9ntg ( i have a big nose)<br />elbow: kissordiettrying<br />chin: mmkjkixzsxszoiklfdrcxjkdgffgfdyghjkn bvbg ( whoa i suck)<br />eyes closed and one finger: kissordietrying<br />back of your hand:kissordietrying<br />palm:isdsolrftdfcikoeduyt6yinm g<br />mouse: kissordri9et6r5yingt<br />wrist: kissordietrying<br />tongue: kkiissordietrying<br />feet: kissordietrrying urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:37158 2004-06-14T16:00:59Z 2004-06-14T16:00:59Z Download "Dammit (acoustic Christmas)" by Blink.<br />i love it.<br />mmhmm urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:36911 2004-06-14T15:57:41Z 2004-06-14T15:57:41Z I have a crush. or two.<br /><br />I don't like it. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:36572 2004-06-09T15:12:00Z 2004-06-09T15:12:00Z TO PLAY I NEVER. PUT AN (x) IN FRONT OF THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE AND A (_) ON THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE DONE AT LEAST ONCE. ADD A "I NEVER" OF YOUR OWN<br /><br />(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DRUNK <br />(_) I NEVER HAVE SMOKED POT <br />(_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX <br />(_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX <br />(x) I NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR<br />(x) I NEVER BEEN TO JAPAN<br />(x) I NEVER RODE IN A TAXI <br />(x) I NEVER GAVE ANAL SEX <br />(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN LOVE <br />(_) I NEVER HAD SEX <br />(x) I NEVER HAVE HAD SEX IN PUBLIC <br />(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPED <br />(x) I NEVER SHOPLIFTED <br />[x) I NEVER HAVE BEEN FIRED <br />[_) I NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT <br />(x) I NEVER HAD A THREESOME <br />(x) I NEVER BEEN SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE <br />(x) I NEVER BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY) <br />(x) I NEVER BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING <br />(_) I NEVER PISSED ON MYSELF <br />(x) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX <br />(x) I NEVER BEEN ARRESTED <br />(_) I NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER <br />(x) I NEVER STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB <br />(x)I NEVER CELEBRATED NEW YEARS IN TIME SQUARE <br />(_)I NEVER WENT ON A BLIND DATE <br />(_) I NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND <br />(_)I NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER <br />(x) I NEVER CELEBRATED MARDI-GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS <br />(x) I NEVER BEEN TO EUROPE <br />(_) I NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL <br />(x) I NEVER SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER <br />(_) I NEVER CUT MYSELF ON PURPOSE <br />(x) I NEVER HAD SEX AT THE OFFICE <br />(x] I'VE NEVER BEEN MARRIED <br />(x) I'VE NEVER BEEN DIVORCED <br />(x)I NEVER HAD SEX WITH MORE THAN ONE PERSON WITHIN THE SAME WEEK <br />(x) I NEVER GOT SOMEONE DRUNK JUST TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM <br />(x) I NEVER WALK IN ON PEOPLE HAVING SEX <br />(x) I NEVER TRIED BEASTIALITY <br />(x)I'VE NEVER HAD SOMEONE CUM IN MY MOUTH / FEMALE <br />(x) I'VE NEVER USED A DILDO / ON A FEMALE <br />(_) I'VE NEVER DISOWNED ANY OF MY FRIENDS <br />(_) I NEVER BEEN TO MEXICO <br />(x) I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN A CAR ACCIDENT <br />(x) I NEVER BEEN TO IRELAND <br />(x) I NEVER GOT OUT OF MY PARENTS HOUSE <br />(_) I NEVER WOKE UP AND REGRETTED THE PAST NIGHTS EVENTS <br />(x) I NEVER SAID I LOVED SOMEONE JUST TO FUCK THEM <br />(x) I NEVER HAD SEX AT KINGS ISLAND <br />(x) I NEVER CHEATED ON SOMEONE I WAS WITH <br />(x) I HAVE NEVER BEEN KICKED OUT OF A HOTEL <br />(x) I HAVE NEVER PARTICIPATED IN A ORGY <br />(_) I'VE NEVER HAD SEX WITH A FRIEND <br />(_) I'VE NEVER SUCKED A DICK <br />(_) I'VE NEVER DATED SOMEONE I MET ON THE INTERNET <br />(x) I'VE NEVER FALLEN IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE I MET ON THE INTERNET <br />(x) I'VE NEVER DROPPED ACID <br />(x) I'VE NEVER TOSSED SOMEONES SALAD <br />(_) I'VE NEVER BEEN TO DISNEYLAND <br />(x) I'VE NEVER HAD SEX FOR MONEY <br />(_) I'VE NEVER GIVEN A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX AN ORGASM <br />(_) I'VE NEVER WANTED TO KILL SOMEONE <br />(x) I'VE NEVER KILLED ANOTHER HUMAN BEING <br />(_) I'VE NEVER KILLED AN ANIMAL <br />(x) I'VE NEVER BEEN TO HAWAII <br />(x) I'VE NEVER SHOT UP HEROIN <br />(x) I'VE NEVER TAPED MYSELF HAVING SEX <br />(x) I'VE NEVER HAD SEX IN A CEMETARY <br />(_) I'VE NEVER JUMPED OFF OF A ROOF <br />(x) I'VE NEVER BEEN WATCHED HAVING SEX <br />[_] I'VE NEVER MADE OUT IN A SHOWER<br />(x) I'VE NEVER HAD SEX TO GET A PART IN A MOVIE urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:36305 2004-06-09T00:48:07Z 2004-06-09T00:48:07Z I want a boy who wants to hold my hand more than he wants to get in my vagina. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:35966 2004-06-07T14:43:39Z 2004-06-07T14:43:39Z i need to regain morals.<br /><br />who wants to help me? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:35702 2004-06-07T05:53:07Z 2004-06-07T15:34:30Z god here I go again.<br /><br />i really must stop. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:35358 2004-06-04T12:52:19Z 2004-06-04T12:52:19Z I thought I'd update a bit since I haven't really wrote anything since summer started a week ago.<br /><br />Wednesday- Me and Tabitha went to Kings Island with Amy. We had fun. I got hit on by a 80 year old security guard. Did you know that I'm a very attractive lady?<br /><br />Thursday- Me Elyse Amy and Brittany went to the mall then we hung out with Tabitha and John for a little bit. Me and Amy dropped off Elyse and Brittany and then we went back to Johns with Tabitha and Clint after I got ice cream. Me and Amy spent the night at Tabithas.<br /><br />Friday- Me Elyse Amy and Brittany all hung out at Brittany's. We went cicada hunting in cincinnati but didn't catch anything. Me and Brittany got into a huge fight but everything is okay now. We sat on the trampoline and looked at clouds. Then we went to see The Day After Tommorrow where the guy behind us I swear was tripping on acid. At like 1 Ben and his cousin called us and Me Elyse and Brittany went to this church parking lot across the street to hang out in Ben's car. Brittany threw up it was gross. Me Elyse Brittany and Amy spent the night at Brittanys and had an altogether crazy night.<br /><br />Saturday- We were supposed to have band practice but my friend from my old school called me and we went to this party out in bum fucking egypt. It was crazy. The night was really good until all this bad shit happened. The guys we partied with were hot as hell but quite possibly the biggest players I've ever seen. We all ended up getting into a huge fight and i thought I wouldn't make it home alive. Thank god We all got home safely.<br /><br />Sunday- I worked all day and then after work Brittany came over. We went to Amys and watched some of Club Dread.<br /><br />Monday- Me and Brittany went to Kings Island and then just jammed for a little bit. Then amy came over and we watched some TV.<br /><br />Tuesday- I worked and then Me Amy and Brittany went to the mall. Then we just chilled at Amy's and played some video games. We were bored so we went to Brittanys and played board games with her sister.<br /><br />Wednesday- I worked and then just sat at home all day.<br /><br />Thursday- i worked and then I hung out at this guys house for a bit. Then Ben called me and we hung out. We drove around for awhile and visited Tabitha and went to these woods. Then John called us and we went to his house and hung out for awhile. I don't remember most of what happened. Ben ended up puking all over the bathroom. Tabitha took Ben home and then took me home. I passed out asleep in a second.<br /><br />Now i have to go to work for 8 hours on a day when there are supposed to be 70,000 people at Kings Island. And I have a hang over. This is going to suck. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:35287 2004-06-03T22:40:00Z 2004-06-03T22:40:00Z I really need to stop making out with people.<br /><br />hmm. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:35025 2004-05-30T14:13:26Z 2004-05-30T14:13:26Z I have bruises on my arms and grass stains on my knees.<br />The sun is really bright.<br />God last night was horrible.<br />Oh well I'll survive.<br /><br />4.<br />3.<br />2.<br />1.<br /><br />God what a crazy past few days. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kissordietrying:34643 2004-05-30T13:07:26Z 2004-05-30T13:07:26Z Last Night had better never happen again.<br /><br />"these grass stains on my knees they don't mean a thing"